Life is always in Transition
The Buddhist principle Samsara is defined as the hopeless cycle that believes we can maintain lasting pleasure and avoid pain. This belief causes us to suffer greatly and thwarts immense potential for growth and freedom. Author Pema Chodron says “nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation … it’s a very tender, open-ended, non-aggressive state of affairs.”
Sliding door moments are hard to identify when they are happening, but they are hard to miss once they’ve passed. Sometimes life transitions feel as sudden as an undoable moment that will change the trajectory of the future, and other times they are gradual and linger until one day you look back and realize you’re on the other side.
It’s often that life transitions such as a change in life stage, relationship status, employment, or health are vulnerable times for mental health to suffer and instability to settle in. We can begin to question ourselves and the coping skills we used to use may not feel as effective. When this happens, it’s common to experience fear, anxiety, and a lapse in self-confidence. In the middle of a life transition, there is often no sight of relief initially, and everything that felt familiar is purged from us. It’s so much easier to crawl under the comfortable blankets of the identities we’ve always had rather than face the fear that comes with change. What we might not realize is that we’re always in transition that is until another transition begins.
These are important moments in our lives to lean in with intentionality, presence, and curiosity to experience the transformation that’s possible. Pema Chodron writes in her book “When Things Fall Apart that “the only time we ever know what’s really going on is when the rug’s been pulled out and we can’t find anywhere to land. We use these situations to either wake ourselves up or put ourselves to sleep.”
When a transition sets in, it’s important to build trust from the inside out. Rather than trusting the world outside of you to make you feel warm, safe and dry, create that environment within you to take wherever you go. This can be as simple as making a promise to yourself to do your laundry on a night that you know you’ll have the time and following through on that promise. Keeping your own promises will make you feel more grounded yourself and how you’ll handle the unknown. When you find yourself grasping for information about the future that you don’t know try repeating to yourself “I trust my future self to handle this when the time comes.” Trust that you will do your best with the information you have at that time to face the future. Pema Chodron writes “When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly too.”
May you be peaceful and confident as you handle the ever-constant ebbs and flows of life transitions.
Wishing you wellness,
Janessa