Mindfulness and Meditation:Not for Me

I watch people’s faces as I introduce the idea of meditation to them. It’s a face of skepticism. A face that has tried and failed and ultimately decided it’s not for them. Perhaps what’s challenging about approaching and being successful in a meditation practice is the misconception that it’s something you can be good or bad at. The idea that it’s a set of skills to measure up against other skills like your ability to ski down a mountain gracefully or your struggle to sing on key. Framing it this way can feel daunting, and confronting. While it is hard, especially as adults, to learn new things, a beginner’s mind is essential to a long-lasting and fulfilling meditation practice.

As defined by John Kabat-Zinn, professor and founder of the mindfulness-based stress reduction clinic, mindfulness is paying attention on purpose, in the moment, without judgement. In addition to a beginner’s mind, Dr. Kabat-Zinn has coined attitudinal pillars for a mindfulness practice such as patience, self-trust, and non-striving. Mindfulness meditation is not meant to be a source of frustration and exertion. Something as simple awareness of a thought is considered mindfulness. There are many ways to embed more mindfulness into the structures of your life that already exist. There is no need to carve out specified time, change into yoga pants and light a candle to reap the benefits.

Mindfulness has been shown to improve symptoms of stress and anxiety, decrease personal biases, which can lead to improved interpersonal relationships, sharpen focus, and regulate an overactive nervous system. It’s common that our thoughts race or uncomfortable emotions seep into our bodies during the mindless or slow paced parts of our day. An example of that can be in the shower, during your commute to work, or at night before sleep.

When you find this to be true, creating a way to tune into your senses is a helpful launch pad for mindfulness. For example, if you are in the shower, you’ll allow the sensations of the shower to be the placeholder for your thoughts as you observe the feeling of the water on your skin, the smell of your soaps, and sounds of the drain. If you find that your thoughts wander, this is an important moment for your relationship to mindfulness. Gently and without feelings of discouragement, bring your thoughts back to the sensory experience of the shower by narrating to yourself how the shower looks, feels, sounds, and smells. The moment you wake up to your wandering thoughts without judgment is the moment you are successful in meditation.

Other examples for mindfulness activities might be to practice while you make and drink your morning coffee or tea, while you brush your teeth, or while you walk your pets. Some questions for yourself to prompt mindful thoughts are:

What is the temperature of the air right now?

What is the texture of my clothing and how does it feel on my skin?

Where is my breath located? Is it higher in my chest and shoulders or deeper in my belly and pelvis?

Resist attaching a story to the answers of these questions. The goal is to notice and observe.

Regardless of how long you can sustain an activity with mindfulness, it’s important to commend yourself for receiving your own attention. Most of our lives demand our attention to be outside of us. Feeling centered with ourselves in the present moment, even if it’s brief, will lead to greater stability and ease moving through life. A great author Jennifer Wolkin says, “when seeking change, both consistency and compassion for inconsistency are necessary.”

If you are looking for further material and insight on how to incorporate mindfulness into your life in a friendly and approachable way, the book “Quick Calm” by Jennifer Wolkin is wonderful at outlining these practices and the many ways they can be applied. It’s a quick read with equal parts theoretical context and practical suggestions. There is a copy at The Flow Centre available for borrow.

If you are interested in one-on one guided meditation or group meditation circles, please reach out to janessa@theflowcenterllc.com

As always, wishing you wellness!