The Importance of Context
A fun fact about me is that I studied Sociology in undergrad and I find that I use that degree as much as, if not more than my master’s degree when I work with people in therapy. Sociology is near and dear to my heart. In another life I would have become a field researcher, lived off the map and studied humans from afar. The study of sociology is observing human behavior and patterns from a zoomed out lens. It looks at patterns that emerge in the social world as a result of culture, economy, religion, class, race, and gender. Psychology on the other hand, which is the background for most therapists, studies humans up close. They focus on individual patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving using diagnostic criteria. Fortunately, I have an in-depth understanding of both schools of thought, which I believe allows me to help many people. Let me explain why and how you can use these ideas in your own life.
We’ll use an obvious example to start. Imagine moving to another country where there is a language barrier and a completely different culture from what you’re used to. You wouldn’t blame yourself for struggling to communicate, and adjust while you learn the differences. You might even expect yourself to feel lonely and depressed initially. It makes sense. There is an important context that can allow for you to offer yourself patience, understanding and compassion. If we put those feelings of loneliness and depression in a vacuum, without the context, you might start to blame yourself or see yourself as broken. As long as these feelings are present, your path towards improvement will start to feel discouraging and hopeless. Understanding and validating all of the factors that could be contributing to your experience is an important step in moving forward with sustainable and long-lasting change.
The same can be said of other life experiences, perhaps you are struggling for money and spend exactly what you make on necessary living expenses. I think a lot of us can relate to having this experience at least once in our lives. Being a member of the lower class and having financial strain will create a similar experience for most people in the same social group. Whether that manifests as feelings of anxiety to stay on top of bills or depression about lacking the quality of life you want, it makes sense given the context. In other words, you are not the problem.
Maybe a helpful exercise would be to identify all of the social groups that you belong to (not book club necessarily). I mean your age, race, class standing, religious affiliation, sexuality, relationship status etc. Do any of the social experiences you have as a result of holding these identities explain your patterns of thinking, behaving and feeling? If so, that’s a great start to understanding the whole self and addressing any problems as such. Once we’ve done that, the psychological lens can shine because we can begin to create individual solutions that help you move forward with specificity, and free of self-blame. Shame and blame hinders solution finding better than anything else, additionally many broken systems stay broken as a result of our self-blame. You didn’t ask for the problems you have in your life, none of us do. Try to think bigger and you’ll almost always find that there are external influences at play. Be careful not to conflate this externalizing process with a lack of accountability. Those are two different concepts. It is possible to take responsibility for your behaviors, meaning you have a commitment to improve your life while simultaneously understanding the context that gives birth to some of the feelings and behaviors you struggle with. I hope this helps. I hope that you are able to trust yourself enough to build a fuller and more truthful picture of your life. I hope that brings clarity and relief.
Wishing you wellness!
Janessa